Ambash Jamil

Department of Chemistry

It was Wednesday night, February 27, 2020, at 12:30 am. The next day was my final exam in physical chemistry. I was unwell and knew that this cough and suffocation wouldn’t allow me to prepare.  So my mama and brother took me to the emergency hospital which is one of the places where I was always afraid to go because if I go once I can’t sleep properly for a week as I recently lost my Nano and cousin in the same emergency.

In the usual emergency rush, I saw a tall man standing next to me at the hospital reception. The receptionist was more attracted to him than me and asking him in a naughty or strange tone what is his father’s name. The one in front didn't look as upset as I thought he should have. Maybe all these things were normal for him, but this is not normal for me. The tall man was still in front of me, sitting in the waiting area. The strange thing was that a man left the whole assembly and sat down with him and asked him in an obscene tone if there was any work. Seeing that I was grinding my teeth, I wanted to get up and slap the man hard in the face and ask him why a person suffering from fever would be there at this time. The tall man was still sitting motionless. From the reception to the pharmacy, the ridiculous glaring eyes of the people and the colliding shoulders of the depraved men were proof that the tall man lacked something. He was transgender shivering with fever. The ones who share our happiness and increase it. The eyes of the people there were more poisonous than the smell of medicine and blood. Being transgender is not a choice. Every moment we make them believe that nature has left them short and they are not able to compete with these so-called perfect people.

After this disturbing hour, I left for home.  Moisture appeared in my eyes as I leaned my head against the back seat of the car.  The only thing that came to my mind was that even if there is nothing, there is a lot to be thankful for. At least my God has given me such an identity that I don't have to bear the sarcastic gaze of these people. And once again, this place bothered me as much as it used to...